- How to encourage your autistic child to understand and follow instructions
- Use direct, positive framing
As a feature of his ASD, my son struggles to follow instructions. Here’s a method our speech pathologist taught me to improve his understanding.
Avoid using ‘don’t’
A child with autism who struggles with communication may only hear the last word that you say. So, if you say ‘Don’t run’, they may only hear the word ‘run’… and run!
Instead, say ‘Please sit.’
Avoid long sentences
If you say ‘Don’t throw that toy, that’s dangerous’, your child may only process the last part of the sentence and not react to the earlier instruction.
Instead, just say ‘Put the toy down.’
Avoid vague phrasing
It’s too vague to say, ‘That’s not appropriate, stop that’. Your child may not know what you are referring to.
Instead, say ‘Hands off.’
Be specific
Good ‘Put the toy down.’
Better ‘Put the dinosaur on the table.’
Good ‘Be quiet.’
Better ‘Use a small voice.’
Good ‘Stay close to me.’
Better ‘Hold my handbag strap.’
Good ‘Calm down.’
Better ‘Sit on this chair and read this book.’
Good ‘Wait one more minute.’
Better ‘Count to 100.’
Suggest an alternative
Sometimes a child with autism can find it difficult to completely stop a behaviour, even if it’s inappropriate, because they may be doing it out of a desire to communicate or regulate their emotions. So it may be more effective to suggest an alternative.
If your child is being rough with their sibling, say ‘Give her arm a gentle stroke.’
If your child is irritating another child, say ‘Play with this car instead, next to your friend.’
If your child is throwing a hard object, say ‘Let’s throw a balloon instead.’
If your child is screeching, say ‘Let’s sing a song.’
If your child is hitting something, say ‘Let’s punch this cushion instead.’
Make them laugh
When he was younger my son didn’t like taking showers, and would rub his nose out of stress and make it bleed in the water.
Saying ‘Don’t rub your nose’ didn’t work. So I tried suggesting ‘Let’s tickle your nose!’ My son loves tickling and being tickled, so he enjoyed trying to tickle his own nose.
He did still rub his nose sometimes and make it bleed, but he also made an effort to tickle it whenever he was prompted.
So, if your child is engaging in troubling or inappropriate behaviour, I would suggest trying an alternative, comical action.
Summary
Rather than emphasise the undesirable behaviour, suggest an alternative.
Be specific. Avoid negative, vague phrasing.
Autism Hacks 